I ended it in December 2021. I was 38. He was 41. He had been pleasant and consistent and entirel…
T=0: The Decision
Four years together. At year two I asked where we were going. He said he needed more time. At year three, the same. At year four, I stopped asking and started counting how many more years I was willing to answer the same question.
I ended it in December 2021. I was 38. He was 41. He had been pleasant and consistent and entirely unable to move toward anything. I did not leave in anger — I left in exhaustion.
Not spending year 45 asking the same question.
3 Months Out
Norwegian December and January are not the months to end a 4-year relationship. The darkness is literal and metaphorical. I am not regretful — I am grieving something I did not even have. The grief is for the 4-year imagined future, not the actual relationship.
“January in Norway is survivable with a lamp and a plan. I bought a SAD lamp the first week. Do not underestimate the effect of light in recovery.”
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